At the time, I thought if I could go to the gym every day, then everything must have been OK. My binges would only occur in private, so it was like living a double life.ДЇor many years, I clung to the gym as a safeguard to prevent me from drinking during the day. I tried my best to cover my tracks about the scale of my drinking, same as I did with bulimia. Just like bulimia, my alcoholism was just as secretive in its nature. Having had bulimia throughout my teens and early 20s, my alcoholism had become a replacement addiction. Of course, this was always in isolation, which was the ideal conditions for my addiction to flourish. In reality, it was a facade, as I resisted drinking before the gym and would only begin drinking after I got home, sometime after 9 p.m. вЂњYouвЂ™re so disciplined,вЂќ my friends and colleagues would often comment. When I was offered anything to drink, I strictly declined. Ironically, I would often turn down alcohol when the opportunity arose in social situations, whether it would be a post conference get together or a barbecue on the beach. I was excelling at work, widely respected by my peers, I had won several prestigious awards and I looked gym-fit. Because on the surface, I was вЂњfunctioning.вЂќ Or in other words, I was managing without my drinking hindering my work in any way. Never once did anyone suspect that I was drinking heavily in isolation. Goodness knows how many conferences I spoke at first thing in the morning, where I would still be feeling the effects from the alcohol from the night before. In the short term, alcohol was highly effective in helping me manage in these situations. In my field of work, I was considered a leading voice on menвЂ™s eating disorders and often spoke at major conferences.

Functional alcoholic